Villainy Abounding

At least 2 or 3 times a day, a putrid attempt at self-expression comes a-bump-bump-thumping down from the overhead speakers at work and bombards my ears with auditory sewage. The likes of Jay-Z and Fat Joe hijack my psyche and come "pimp strolling" their way into my head, "gats" and mouths a-blazin', filling my mind with images of illiterate men slapping women across the face with stacks of unearned "Benjamins" while the women pour the over priced alcohol of the week down their scantily clad bodies.  And believe me... the wet, half-naked women from hip-hop videos and Mrs. Herschberger, the 83 year old hemorrhoid plagued widow with spina bifida who desperately needs me to demonstrate for her how to apply her bum cream, do not mix.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to deal with it while I work on my master plan...

First step: rant. (Check.)

Second step: devise plan to undermine and completely obliterate "gangsta rap" as the world knows it.

Third step: carry out ingenious plan.

Fourth step: take dance lessons.

Fifth step: dance on the ashes of my fallen foe (who, I believe, was basically the moral black plague of my generation's existence). 





Feel free to visit the following link/join the good fight...
http://www.mtv.com/bands/h/hip_hop_week/2005/greatest_albums_0505/

(Author's note: all hemorrhoid plagued characters mentioned above were of fictitious origin.)